Raising Future Husbands and Wives
“Marriage isn’t just about finding the right person, but being the right person.” This familiar saying brings to mind a vital responsibility for Christian parents: while we’re teaching our children to look for the right person to marry, let’s also make sure we’re raising them to be the right person.
If we want our daughters to marry faithful Christian men, then we need to raise them to be the kind of lady those men would want to marry. Teach them not to be gossips, drama queens, or spoiled brats. Teach them to be kind and pleasant, not abrasive, ill-tempered, or whiny. Teach them to have a heart of service, not snobbery or attention-seeking. Teach them to view marriage and motherhood as a crown of nobility, not a demeaning burden. Teach them to look at men and value a Christ-like heart more than high earning potential.
If we want our sons to marry faithful Christian ladies, then we need to raise them to be the kind of man those ladies would want to marry. Teach them not to be immature and unserious. Teach them to have ambition, purpose, and a mind to work. Teach them to be caring and compassionate, not boorish or insensitive. Teach them self-sacrificial love and commitment. Teach them to view marriage and fatherhood as a blessing, not a curse. Teach them to look at women and value a godly spirit more than covergirl looks.
We can’t rely on the world to teach our children these things. They won’t learn them from MTV, TMZ, or the rest of the alphabet soup of entertainment providers. They won’t learn them from popular music or magazines. They won’t learn them from memes on Facebook. They won’t learn them from what they see among many of their friends. It’s up to us.
Let’s teach our sons to read Proverbs 31:10-31 and say, “I want to marry a girl who’s set on becoming that woman.” And let’s raise our daughters to be such women. Let’s teach our daughters to read 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9 and say, “I want to marry a guy who’s set on becoming that man.” And let’s raise our sons to be such men.